Now I'm even more confused than ever before...

Enigma-"The Eyes of Truth"

We went to visit some artist's studios in Brooklyn yesterday, and I kinda had a mixed reaction from it. I came away from it being somewhat inspired, yet deeply disappointed at the same time. It was nice to see how other people work, or what some of us might possibly doing in our lives further down the road, and we even met a poodle mix that absolutely loved Cory. It was also fun to go to a different part of Brooklyn where I have never been before and to see how people really are outside of class- most people are just so tired during the week that they just seem miserable, so it was nice to see people at least somewhat happy for once!

I was a little discouraged of the fact that there seems to be a set way of doing things if you are an artist in NYC, which is extremely strange for me since you would think that it's really not this way at all. I still don't know what to do with my life, and I honestly have too many interests to just settle for one thing (for instance, I already changed my major three times- I went from a Pre- Dentistry/Biology major, to a History/Sociology major, and now to a Fine Arts major). I'm also really concerned about there being absolutely no intellectual side to this field at all, or at least at SVA it comes off that way. I would like the work that I do to reflect what I'm thinking, or to have a certain message, or to maybe even help people, but it seems like that is not what people are concerned about anymore. I really don't get the point of doing thousands of still lifes or figure drawings just for the hell of it, and it's starting to seem that I'm wasting my money on doing things that have no point to it at all. At least our painting teacher has realized that I have a lot to say due to the fact that I wrote a 5 page statement for our Identity project when other people just wrote a small paragraph. I might have problems with our city project (which we are doing now) since I'm basing it on gentrification, and I could probably easily write a book on that. I'll keep it short for his sake though...

So, at the end of the day, I just got home really confused. Patrick and I were discussing things between studios, and also earlier during previous classes, and we are just both so confused about what to do with our lives. We talked to Danielle a bit, and the thing that came out of the discussion was "What else would we be doing if we weren't doing art?". It seemed to have solved a big chunk of the problem for Patrick, but it just left me wondering about all of the things I could have been doing now. Would a diploma in dentistry hanging on my wall would really leave me satisfied, but would I have gotten any appointments while dressed all in black and having bright neon red hair color (or whatever color hair I had at the moment). Would I have been completely bored studying random parts of history, or could I have helped people with a sociology degree? I could always study those things outside of class, but I just hope that I'm making the right decision by staying at SVA. I'll always have that nagging thought on the back of my mind that maybe I was destined to be involved with something else. At the same time, maybe I shouldn't just settle on one thing, and this might be better in case if something doesn't work out the way that I thought.

I'll just wind up going crazy from all of these thoughts. I'll just become a crazy cat lady and paint portraits of my cats...

HW Hw hw....

For some reason, I was really excited to find out that we were going to be given some artists that would relate to our work. I always like to look for more inspiration since sometimes I get stuck on a particular way of doing things, and I always like to look for other alternatives to create something. I already was looking at some of the artists that were suggested since I was looking at the website for the Brooklyn Museum (they opened the Elizabeth A. Sackler Center for Feminist art there last year and they have an alphabetical listing of the artists and some of their work on their website).

One of the artists I was looking at was Ghada Amer (whom Brittany didn't like). Ghada Amer is an Egyptian multimedia artist who uses embroidery to depict female sexuality. Since she is Muslim, she also deals with how Islam affects woman as well. She has had a hard time showing her art in more conservative settings, and her work is considered extremely controversial in Muslim communities. Many people have problems with female sexuality- for example it's usually considered normal for a man to be sexual, but if a woman talks about it she can be called a "whore" or "easy". The same goes with how many woman want to "save themselves" for the person they are going to marry, yet men can brag about how many women they slept with before the marriage.

I really like her work since she does embroidery, and she is taking a traditional hobby associated with femininity to display a message that many women can relate to. However, one article on her mentioned that it could take up to three months just working on one piece, and that would just drive me nuts. I also liked how delicate her pieces looked, but while looking at them online, it was usually hard to see what each painting consisted of. The work that she does might be what I would like to do on my own, but without being so sexual. For some reason, I don't like overtly sexual things. Maybe because in American culture, sex is almost everywhere but like I said before, it's usually just one sided. I still find her really inspirational since this is the type of art that I'm usually afraid to do but would like to do more of. I usually hate confrontations, so I try to keep political discussions to a minimum. Most people I know either could care less about the world and politics, while others are really conservative. You would think that if we attend a school in a supposed liberal city, most people would have liberal views, but it's not the case in most situations. Since we have been given more freedom in both our painting and drawing classes to experiment and to do art that we like to do, I've started to show a little bit of my views, but I've still held back a lot. This can be seen with our city project in painting class when I said that I was going to base it on the gentrification that has been happening in various cities around the country. I didn't really say anything, but the discussion that occurred kind of resulted in a few hurt feelings in some people. I already know that I can't satisfy everyone, but I'm not the type of person that just goes "oh well".

So anyway...another person that I admire is Judy Chicago. She wasn't on the list, but her "Womanhouse" was. The "Womanhouse" was a Hollywood mansion that was rented by both Judy Chicago and Miriam Schapiro to display various aspects of the female life in each room of the house. Each female artist was given a different room for their art whether it was just a display or a performance. Only women were allowed to come on the first day, which Chicago said had the greatest response to her work. This also reminds me of when I went to the Brooklyn Museum when the Sackler center opened- mostly women were only on that floor, with the occasional husband or boyfriend. Most women were alone or with friends (or maybe even girlfriends and wives) while on the next floor was where many of the men were. I thought it was very strange since not all of the work had to deal with just women, and everyone could have walked away learning something. (Chicago and Shapiro in front of the house when it opened)

(crocheted environment Womb Room) (oddly the only image I can find on Judy Chicago's Menstruation Bathroom- the whole place was just overflowing with "female products"- tampons, pads and even fake blood- I saw the full image during my art history class in the other college I attended)
(sheet closet)

Obviously, this relates to the project that I'm doing since I'm also doing a house, but I'm not solely focusing on sexism. Also, only half of the house will relate to politics and real problems in our world, while the other half is intentionally going to represent a more fantastical side.

And because I want to, here are some pics of Judy Chicago's Dinner Party:
Each setting represents various mythical and historical woman which is now permanently installed in the Brooklyn Museum. Each wing (or side of the table) represents a different time part of history- the first has place settings for various goddesses until Greek and Roman societies, the second wing represents various women present throughout early Christianity to the Protestant Reformation, and the third wing represents women that were involved with the American Revolution, to Suffragists, and various artists. The floor of the installation also has tiles that have the names of 999 influential women throughout history as well. You can see all of the installation online here.
(the setting for Emily Dickinson- each setting contains the same elements, but have various designs- I just love how the plate/vagina just looks so....frilly and feminine)
(setting for Sojourner Truth, shows how each one has a different style to reflect the woman being honored)

I know we were only supposed to choose one artist and put one image....but....I just can't. So I continue with....
Faith Ringgold- born and raised in Harlem, created the Anyone Can Fly Foundation to promote art for African Americans and children. She is very inspirational to me because she has actually done something to help a problem that I have noticed in the art world- most artists that we know of are always male and white. Most art that we see in museums usually cover the same thing, while they only have artifacts from other cultures around the world-such as African jewelry and Incan bowls, but it is extremely rare to have a modern African, Hispanic, Asian artist etc displayed in a museum. Even though her art has been displayed in various museums in NYC, it is very strange that even though our city is so diverse, we have to focus primarily on European and white American art. Why do we have to be given only these options, especially in art school, for inspiration? I find it very odd and disheartening.(one of her painting quilts- the Flag is Bleeding #2)


(Subway Grafitti #3-depicts the diversity of NYC, yet it's slowly disappearing. of course, ironically, the people that don't see what is happening and don't care are white. i don't understand why someone would come here to get away from the area they are from yet hate the way that this city really is like. if you don't like it, then why come here and destroy everything just to make it so other people who aren't from here are comfortable? i have to stop rambling about this...i can probably write a whole book about it...another project added to the lengthy list in the back of my head...)

You can see more of her art here. I really like that she uses different mediums, and she does various "painted quilts". I used to want to do a quilt (I know I'm really a grandma in disguise), but I would like various people to help me with it, but most people don't have the time to do those things anymore (but I have plans...one of those things that I will keep in the back of my head). She also does work on historical events, various scenes of city life, and even children's books. (The Black Light Series:The American Spectrum) (We Came to America)

That's it for now- my hand feels like it's going to fall off....and now I'm just overwhelmed with all of these ideas.