Just spent over an hour talking to my uncle on AIM. It's really funny how whenever I get confused about life, or if I'm having trouble with something, he just randomly comes on and asks what's new. He was up late tonight because he works for this email company which deals with other big companies emails (like AOL) so he gets over a thousand emails a day about random crap which he doesn't care about, and so he was getting an email from a company at 12:30 tonight. He hates his job, but loves everything else in his life, and he still wishes that he could have taken a different route instead. Him and his wife don't have any children, so he tries to offer his nephews and nieces some advice once in awhile. My one female cousin, Sarah, who just turned 18, also just got married and has been pregnant twice. Her brother was always pushed to be good in school, and is now already a second year Pre-Med student. Our other cousin is too little to figure out what he wants to do, but in ten years he'll already have to decide. I already chose the more academic approach to schooling, and am now obviously in art school, but I'm stuck in a situation that I don't want to be in. I'm not going to say I hate my life, but I'm not happy at all. This is not where I want to be, but I feel stuck. I told my uncle this, and he then thought that I was crazy since I'm only going to be 21 in about 17 days or so. He is going to be 46 and his birthday is three days after mine, but he wished that he stayed on the artistic route he was on years ago (he used to be a musician, even came to NYC for that and had a whopping one room apartment a few blocks from Central Park, but settled down and became a corporate man and is now working on Park Avenue). He just told me to not give up, think of all of the options I may have, and just do it. It's just really hard when you want to do so many things and there are so many other things (and people) who are holding you back.
First, I need to move out of this apartment, but I have no place to go and no money. Fun fun fun....
1 comment:
I feel this way at times too Jess. Most of the time actually. I am dealing with the same issue. I have a story to tell as well. I understand how hard it is, it really bothers me at times. Why do we care so much about something that really doesn't matter at all. Art has such a powerful effect. You don't really need it, yet you can't live without it. Financial burdens only add to this. I feel stuck too but I know that there is always a way to get out of my rut. I have so much against me coming from the family that I do (you have no idea, it's kind of hard to even talk about) but I can't say I completely agree with your Uncle. There are so many possibilities and you shouldn't limit yourself to this one path in art, I shouldn't either. I think you should apply to another school where you have more opportunities. You can apply for scholarships as well to help with the costs. Trust me, it's totally doable and so worth it. As of right now hang in there, that's all we both can do. Maybe we may change our minds, but in the meantime we have to stay positive and look for outlets. Inspiration as well. That's what we need, inspiration! Or quiche!
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