As I said before, I'm going to keep on updating this blog even after classes ended. I needed someplace to reflect on my thoughts, maybe even post some more artwork, and rant about things about my life and society since no one else really listens to me about those things anyway. It doesn't even matter if no one reads this anymore, but that's okay.
So, this past week of school, I've just been lazy and sleeping all of the time. I need to get out of this mode of staying up all night and then sleeping all day since that is my general habit. I've been trying to apply for schools (even though it's a bit late for that), but it doesn't hurt to try. I also need to get a job, but it's kind of disheartening when for years (yes years, not months) I have been applying for jobs and I either never get a call, or they take one look at me and either tell me that they aren't hiring or that I can't have the job because I have no experience. I'm just applying to stores, or even to my mom's local bagel store (which always has a sign in the front), but I never have gotten anything. In high school, I thought it was the way that I dressed, but I have toned down a bit compared to how I used to dress. I guess that the next time I go into a store asking if they are hiring, I should just go in with jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup on or something. I just don't get it anymore.
On other news, I'm turning 21 on Wednesday. I'm not celebrating it since no one really ever remembers or cares when my birthday comes around. I feel like moving away, far away from everyone and either go to school in another country, or just rent some little house in the middle of nowhere that doesn't cost that much and just stay there until I pass away. I know this sounds depressing, but what can I do when I'm going to be alone on my birthday? Isn't it supposed to happen when you are all alone dying in a nursing home?
So, eventually I'll get around to doing some art this summer. I already gessoed over my other paintings, which I know isn't good, but I can't afford to buy new canvases.
1 comment:
Oh Jess! Don't give up! I didn't know you were all alone on your birthday! That's terrible! When I get back we definintely need to hang out! I mean it. This is terrible and you got to look on the bright side. The other day I was arguing with my mom about how she wouldn't help me find work for the summer even though she's really good with that kind of stuff and knows alot of people. I feel just like you, you're not alone. It's really hard because businesses aren't doing so well due to this recession. But I think it also goes further than that. I was reading this article in the NYtimes the other day about how looks can affect a person in finding work. Looking a certain way sadly does give some people an advantage, even if they don't really deserve the job. Isn't that terrible?! I got really angry and immediately got off of the internet. This world is really depressing especially for our youth, but what can you do? You live in it. I hate it and if I could I would curl into a little ball and vanish in thin air. Poof!
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