we were supposed to update this thing for class, right?

Self Portrait by Sofonisba Anguissola

It's really early in the morning...
I actually got done with my paper around 3am, which is so unlike me when it comes to writing papers. I was just kind of worried that there wasn't going to be enough info on Sofonisba Anguissola when I actually took the time to research her, but it only took me about 3 hours to write the whole paper. I'm a fast typer, but a 6 page paper isn't that long. Maybe I should be a writer. Our painting teacher actually suggested me to send in something to that writing thing that the school has, but I really didn't have anything to give them. Plus, I'm not going to this school next year, and my writing is completely crap to a "real" college student. Anyways, I wound up staying up anyhow since I wanted to wake up early to pick up my painting before our 9am class. I have so much caffeine in me I'm starting to shake. The joys of being a college student!

Anyhow, we were supposed to update our blogs reflecting on the semester and other things, but I was stupid enough not to write down what we were supposed to discuss! So, I'll just ramble on about absolutely nothing like I usually do.

I thought that overall, this semester was much better than the last. In this class, along with our painting class, we were allowed to do more of our own thing, and even draw or paint in more of our own styles. Last semester, I was really unhappy since it seemed like I was being pushed too hard to do more realistic styles, when I have no ability to do so. Even if I had that skill, I really do not enjoy art that is too realistic or art that completely copies what that person sees. It might help with practicing your skills, but I know people that only copy what they see without having any meaning behind their work. Either way, my "skill" (or lack of it) has grown a lot this year, and it was really great to see how other people's styles developed as well.

The critique on Monday somewhat disappointed me, but I really do not want to express my views on here. All I want to say is that I'm just really scared to go next Monday, but it will be the last day of class, so I won't be worrying as much. I just don't understand why there is so much concern over every little detail of someone else's project, when everyone's project is not going to be perfect or the way that they originally planned. It seems that everyone in the class has a distinct artistic style of their own, and if they want to develop it in a certain way then that should be their decision and not someone else's. It really bothers me how that even though that we go to an art school, we are still pushed to develop our techniques all in the same way. Or, how about the fact that we have to go to the Met for almost every class, and study styles of art that are not only hundreds of years old but are also only by white and male artists? There are obviously more modern and diverse artists out there that we could be studying, but for some reason we don't. Also, there are African and Oceania sections in the Met, but they are strictly artifacts rather than actual art made by contemporary people. It almost makes it give the impression that people in Africa, South America, Oceania, and Asia have not made any art at all in thousands of years. But who really cares about this topic? Let's just all remain ignorant and happy because ignorance is bliss, right?

Maybe it was a mistake to come to this school. Learned a little bit, met *some* nice people that I may continue to bother after this year ends, but I'm still leaving with a huge debt and disappointment for the future of the art world and my generation (at least the ones that are coming to New York City). I'll just continue with making weird mixed media things, maybe even work some more with dirt (come on, it was fun....). I would also like to combine some more sociological aspects through art as well, since there just seems to be too many people that could care less about this or any problems in the world. Someone has to think about these things. I don't know if I would ever be able to actually do anything to fix any of the problems in the world, but I would like to! Don't know how, but I have many years to think and to eventually do something.

So, I have to "get up" soon and get ready for class. There was something on the news saying that the PATH train isn't working for some reason, but I couldn't hear it since the volume was too low and I didn't want to wake someone up. I was going to take the PATH train home to take bring home that huge painting...FUN WEEK ISN'T EVERYONE????